December 12, 2011, 6:57 am
6 pounds, 12 ounces
19 inches long
There are a million things I want to write but right now I can only think of one: perfection.
So happy for all of you!To my yet-to-be-named daughter,
It’s Monday, December 5 – four days away from your due date. Honestly, I didn’t think I’d get this far. At some point in my pregnancy I was issued a warning about low fluid and told that it would likely only continue to decrease which would then mean bed rest and, again, likely, an induction.
For the past three weeks, your fluid has been in the 13 range – not only satisfactory but high. Take note world: nobody tells my daughter what to do.
You’ve been stubborn: fighting our attempts at determining your gender during early ultrasounds and, later, causing us to worry about what we would do if you arrived early – how we would manage taking care of your brother while still attending to you, how we would manage without having your room ready, how we’d juggle the unknown. I’m grateful we didn’t have to learn. Your grandparents arrived yesterday, your room is done, my bag is packed, the car seat is installed, the diapers are all prepped, and your clothes are all sorted. I can’t believe I’m able to write these words but… we’re ready.
I hope the intensity and dedication that I’ve attributed to you really is part of your personality. I hope that you’re strong and sweet, gentle and proud, and smart but compassionate.
Naming you has been an adventure and has made me reconsider many names I swore I’d ruled out just because of their popularity. I’ve learned that being unique isn’t about your name: it’s about you. Silly conclusion but a distinction it’s taken me 37 years to make. And, while we still haven’t made a decision on your name, we’re closer than I ever thought we’d be.
I’m sure I will learn many, many more lessons as I travel down this path. Like how it’s possible to love two children as intensely and deeply as I currently love one. And how sometimes the universe smiles upon us and grants us everything we’ve ever wanted. I know that’s how I feel right now as I get ready to welcome you into the world. I’m so excited to meet you.
And, to my son,
I get a little weepy when I think about the past three and a half years. Possibly because I know the chaos we’ve experienced is about to be multiplied (according to most accounts, exponentially) but mostly because of the amazing times we’ve shared together. Your father and I have had the chance to devote our full attention to you and, while there have been moments that have made us look at each other as if to say, “Is it too late to give him back to the hospital?” – those moments are nestled between laughs, kisses and, as cliché as it may sound, moments of awe as we wonder how it’s possible to love someone so intensely.
While I make no secret of the fact that you were a miserable little infant, allergic to everything, a continually puking, refluxy, colicky mess, you’ve turned into an amazing little boy. The word that comes to mind most often is proud: you make your parents so proud. You’ve developed into an easy-going child who loves to share, remembers everything, never complains, smiles often, and loves life.
I’m grateful that we had Thanksgiving weekend to ourselves – just you, me and your daddy. We spent the days relaxing and enjoying our time together, watching the Thanksgiving parade, cooking stuffing and cookies and snuggling on the couch while we watched way, way too much TV. It was the perfect way to enjoy our last holiday as a family of three.
I hope the excitement you have about meeting your sister – the sweet way you point out babies and want to love them – continues after she arrives. I hope that you always share a special bond – that you lead by example and love generously. I hope that you’re the closest, most supportive, most loving kind of friends and siblings.
Most of all, I hope you know that through all of this, you’ll always be my little man, my firstborn, the one who taught me so many lessons.
I love you both. More than is ever possible to put into words. You make my life complete.
Love, Mama
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Part of the definition of friendship is giving – giving of love, of time, of support. And sometimes it’s giving other things – like hand-me-down clothes or baby gear. And sometimes you want to return the favor but your friends insist – no, demand – that you don’t.
My friend Windy is one of those friends. But last weekend – between our boys pulling every toy out of the playroom, running screaming through the house and racing cars down the slide in the backyard – I figured out a way to pay her back and snapped a few photos of her son, Jack.
Yes, I’m supposed to be on sabbatical. Yes, I’m supposed to be resting. Yes, I’m hugely pregnant. And, yes, it was incredibly awesome to forget about all of that and memorialize a few moments in the life of a dear friend’s son.
Payback feels good.
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On September 2, 2011, my in-laws celebrated 50 years of marriage and my closest friends celebrated their 5th wedding anniversary. I celebrated by photographing an amazing couple and the start of their life together.
It was apropos: to celebrate a day that has such personal significance by photographing a couple who has a special bond and whose wedding was a true celebration of everything a wedding should be.
I could list a hundred reasons why it was one of the most special events I’ve ever witnessed: the point in the ceremony when Patroski stopped, stepped over and hugged a teary-eyed Kerryn, the toasts filled with everything the couple embodies: humor, joy and love, or the way the focus wasn’t on the cake, the decorations or the other insignificant details that are forgotten shortly after the day passes but, instead, on Kerryn and Patroski, their journey to this point and the celebration of the start of their life together.
It was a perfect day, a perfect wedding and a perfect way to celebrate.
(A huge thanks to my second shooter and assistant, Dave Martinez without whom I couldn’t do this ordinarily but especially at 6 months pregnant – you rock, my friend.)
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When I think about the wedding industry, the word glut comes to mind. Wedding magazines tout overdone weddings as their way of stressing that each and every aspect must be just right. Shoes, party favors, photo booths, entertainment, snacks… The list of ways in which brides and grooms must impress guests and ensure their spot as the best wedding is exhausting.
Kerry and Patroski’s wedding celebration was the exact opposite of that. And, it wasn’t just right: it was perfect.
On Thursday night, a small group of family and close friends gathered at Local Three to share in a special rehearsal dinner. In between the wines – which were hand-picked by Kerryn and Patroski – and the course after course of delicious food, guests were treated to movie clips from the Kerryn and Patroski’s favorite movies, stories about friends and family, and many, many thanks for the roles that everyone in the room has played in their lives.
It was a group of people who all love each other dearly: who love each other’s company, love spending time together, love celebrating each other.
Course after course. Wine after wine. Movie clip after movie clip. Stories were told and laughter and tears flowed in equal measure. It was a true celebration of a beautiful couple.
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